Another year closer to 40.
Phew, it doesn't seem possible that I am 38! Seems like only yesterday that I was graduating from college and planning to move to Seattle or LA. Oh well, funny how things change as the years go on. Life has a funny way of keeping you on your toes.
Haven't posted in a while, so I figured I would do some catching up. I am currently performing in an amazing show, A New Brain at Foundry Players. Top notch cast, top notch director and musical director. Just an amazing experience. To be involved in a show with a group of people who I count as my closest and dearest friends, is an experience to be savored and enjoyed. As we come to our closing weekend, I have some sadness to see this one end. Sure, I will be happy to have some free time again, hooray, but at the same time, seeing everyone every night has just been awesome.
I must admit, this years birthday started out awesome, but then just fizzled out. I rang in my new year with all said friends at my place. With rousing games of Survival Catch Phrase, a game to end all games, I sat back and glowed in the presence of all my dear friends. As the night came to a close, and I walked around cleaning things up, I got a bit melancholy. 38, still single, no real prospects, and not quite sure why. Alone.
Its easy to blame my schedule, my shyness, my freaky looking psoriasis, but a part of me thinks, maybe it is me. Maybe I am not as open as I think that I am. Maybe I am not as easy to get to know as I have always thought I was. I started down that irritating path of swirling questions, thoughts, paranoia and delusions of sadness. So, for my birthday I thrust all these disturbing thoughts aside and focused on having a great show, then went home to my empty house, cracked open a beer and watched tv. Turned down an invitation to get out and be with people, so I could wallow in my loneliness. Makes perfect sense right? Ugh. So, after a few hours of panic attacks and ridiculous self-pity, I decided I could not end my birthday on this ridiculous sad note. So, I dried my eyes and headed on down to Freddies. Hung out with some friends, and drank away my sorrows.
Another year, another chance to go after what I want and turn around these inadequate feelings.
Phew, it doesn't seem possible that I am 38! Seems like only yesterday that I was graduating from college and planning to move to Seattle or LA. Oh well, funny how things change as the years go on. Life has a funny way of keeping you on your toes.
Haven't posted in a while, so I figured I would do some catching up. I am currently performing in an amazing show, A New Brain at Foundry Players. Top notch cast, top notch director and musical director. Just an amazing experience. To be involved in a show with a group of people who I count as my closest and dearest friends, is an experience to be savored and enjoyed. As we come to our closing weekend, I have some sadness to see this one end. Sure, I will be happy to have some free time again, hooray, but at the same time, seeing everyone every night has just been awesome.
I must admit, this years birthday started out awesome, but then just fizzled out. I rang in my new year with all said friends at my place. With rousing games of Survival Catch Phrase, a game to end all games, I sat back and glowed in the presence of all my dear friends. As the night came to a close, and I walked around cleaning things up, I got a bit melancholy. 38, still single, no real prospects, and not quite sure why. Alone.
Its easy to blame my schedule, my shyness, my freaky looking psoriasis, but a part of me thinks, maybe it is me. Maybe I am not as open as I think that I am. Maybe I am not as easy to get to know as I have always thought I was. I started down that irritating path of swirling questions, thoughts, paranoia and delusions of sadness. So, for my birthday I thrust all these disturbing thoughts aside and focused on having a great show, then went home to my empty house, cracked open a beer and watched tv. Turned down an invitation to get out and be with people, so I could wallow in my loneliness. Makes perfect sense right? Ugh. So, after a few hours of panic attacks and ridiculous self-pity, I decided I could not end my birthday on this ridiculous sad note. So, I dried my eyes and headed on down to Freddies. Hung out with some friends, and drank away my sorrows.
Another year, another chance to go after what I want and turn around these inadequate feelings.
posted by Mark at 6:35 AM
1 Comments:
Dude, 38 is just a number. OK, I have tried several times now to say something inspirational and meaningful to let you know that it is all going to be OK and you will meet that perfect guy when the time is right, but it all sounds to damn corny. It takes a lot of work to make a good relationship, and even that is no guarantee that it will work out. A relationship is no key to happiness either, best bet, look for a nice guy who you can be a best friend with and hook up with him. Hope for the best.
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