Another year closer to 40.
Phew, it doesn't seem possible that I am 38! Seems like only yesterday that I was graduating from college and planning to move to Seattle or LA. Oh well, funny how things change as the years go on. Life has a funny way of keeping you on your toes.
Haven't posted in a while, so I figured I would do some catching up. I am currently performing in an amazing show, A New Brain at Foundry Players. Top notch cast, top notch director and musical director. Just an amazing experience. To be involved in a show with a group of people who I count as my closest and dearest friends, is an experience to be savored and enjoyed. As we come to our closing weekend, I have some sadness to see this one end. Sure, I will be happy to have some free time again, hooray, but at the same time, seeing everyone every night has just been awesome.
I must admit, this years birthday started out awesome, but then just fizzled out. I rang in my new year with all said friends at my place. With rousing games of Survival Catch Phrase, a game to end all games, I sat back and glowed in the presence of all my dear friends. As the night came to a close, and I walked around cleaning things up, I got a bit melancholy. 38, still single, no real prospects, and not quite sure why. Alone.
Its easy to blame my schedule, my shyness, my freaky looking psoriasis, but a part of me thinks, maybe it is me. Maybe I am not as open as I think that I am. Maybe I am not as easy to get to know as I have always thought I was. I started down that irritating path of swirling questions, thoughts, paranoia and delusions of sadness. So, for my birthday I thrust all these disturbing thoughts aside and focused on having a great show, then went home to my empty house, cracked open a beer and watched tv. Turned down an invitation to get out and be with people, so I could wallow in my loneliness. Makes perfect sense right? Ugh. So, after a few hours of panic attacks and ridiculous self-pity, I decided I could not end my birthday on this ridiculous sad note. So, I dried my eyes and headed on down to Freddies. Hung out with some friends, and drank away my sorrows.
Another year, another chance to go after what I want and turn around these inadequate feelings.
Phew, it doesn't seem possible that I am 38! Seems like only yesterday that I was graduating from college and planning to move to Seattle or LA. Oh well, funny how things change as the years go on. Life has a funny way of keeping you on your toes.
Haven't posted in a while, so I figured I would do some catching up. I am currently performing in an amazing show, A New Brain at Foundry Players. Top notch cast, top notch director and musical director. Just an amazing experience. To be involved in a show with a group of people who I count as my closest and dearest friends, is an experience to be savored and enjoyed. As we come to our closing weekend, I have some sadness to see this one end. Sure, I will be happy to have some free time again, hooray, but at the same time, seeing everyone every night has just been awesome.
I must admit, this years birthday started out awesome, but then just fizzled out. I rang in my new year with all said friends at my place. With rousing games of Survival Catch Phrase, a game to end all games, I sat back and glowed in the presence of all my dear friends. As the night came to a close, and I walked around cleaning things up, I got a bit melancholy. 38, still single, no real prospects, and not quite sure why. Alone.
Its easy to blame my schedule, my shyness, my freaky looking psoriasis, but a part of me thinks, maybe it is me. Maybe I am not as open as I think that I am. Maybe I am not as easy to get to know as I have always thought I was. I started down that irritating path of swirling questions, thoughts, paranoia and delusions of sadness. So, for my birthday I thrust all these disturbing thoughts aside and focused on having a great show, then went home to my empty house, cracked open a beer and watched tv. Turned down an invitation to get out and be with people, so I could wallow in my loneliness. Makes perfect sense right? Ugh. So, after a few hours of panic attacks and ridiculous self-pity, I decided I could not end my birthday on this ridiculous sad note. So, I dried my eyes and headed on down to Freddies. Hung out with some friends, and drank away my sorrows.
Another year, another chance to go after what I want and turn around these inadequate feelings.
posted by Mark at 6:35 AM
1 comments
